I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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