I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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