So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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