Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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