You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
