i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i love accidental penises.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
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Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
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I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage