Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?