5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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