remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
