it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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