When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
