I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
