guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You smell like stripper and shame
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
