I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
