On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
