3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
