Girls should come with a carfax report
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
