I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
