it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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