I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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