At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
