My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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