Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
