bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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