Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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