btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
