I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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