Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
