and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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