I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
