not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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