Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
