Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
