Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
