Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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