If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
