Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
