I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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