what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We just shotgunned beers for America
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
