My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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