We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
