You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
