New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
