it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
