He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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