it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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