I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
