best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
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You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
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Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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