we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
