I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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