He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
