Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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