So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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