he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
