I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just high enough for therapy.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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