Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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