i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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