I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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