yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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