Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
