You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
