he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
