I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
