dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
