I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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