I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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