the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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