I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
